Happy Birthday Dad…

ChickenReshmiKababs&MasalaTea

There’s no timetable to say you’re going grieving over a loved one.  And no one should feel an arbitrary amount of months or even years that it’s time to say you’re done.  I don’t know what being done is.  What I do know is…

Our parents don’t want us feeling sad all the time.  They would want us to live the best life possible, while they’re here and when it’s their time for the afterlife.

It was my dad’s time.

As much as I don’t like admitting that, it’s the truth.  My dad got sick over a year ago, and never could recover.  For some of us, the pain doesn’t that last that long.  It’s the pain of the children, the siblings, the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and everyone in between and on the peripheral to feel and to come to terms with.

I’m still not sure if I’ve come to terms.   Not even five months later, it hurts but it’s a different kind of hurt.   I haven’t looked back on the two previous times I specifically wrote about my father (here and then here) right about the time he passed.  I’m not ready to look back and read them just yet.  Maybe I will with a fresher set of eyes down the line. So in some ways have I really come to terms?

SpiceXing

I can’t say for sure.  But what I can say is it only felt right, on his birthday and the first birthday without him (the holidays could be tough this year), to go back to our place, more so his place, Spice Xing, for a meal to honor him, honor his memory, and maybe bring some more peace to me.

I don’t recall a time that we didn’t have lunch buffet here.   Well things have changed, as that buffet is now only reserved for the weekends.   Well no big deal there.   The place was eerily quiet on this Monday afternoon, but I almost preferred it that way.

Of course on a day like this it’s grey, it’s rainy, and the sky is telling me something.  What that is, and what it may tell you are completely different things.  For many that might feel comforting.  Ordinarily, I would say it wasn’t.  But today it fit the mood.  If it was sunny and 80 degrees, I would say that would fit the mood.  But this was the mood and I’m grateful for that.

The last time I was actually here was the beginning of the healing process.  I’ll leave that to your own interpretation and speculation, as some things are better left unsaid.  But I’m forever grateful for the outpouring of love and support, that it will stay with me for the rest of my life.  I mean that.   It’s a once in a lifetime thing.  Literally.  It’ll never happen again.

ChickenReshmiKababs

But what can happen again is a lovely meal to honor a man who has helped shaped me and our family to be in the position to be where we are today.  If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be.  He was the man.  And he still is the man.  Hi dad, I hope you see this sometime.. Love you…

What actually never crossed my mind until including these photos was, is he sitting across from me?  That’s a cliche but well….

ChickenReshmiKababs&MasalaTea2

I did it different this time with the chicken reshmi kababs with a side of chana masala, salad, and naan bread.   Why kababs in an Indian restaurant?  Well why not.  Our background is Iranian, and we’ve had our share of kababs at many fine establishments in the area, and at home.  So I couldn’t think of a better meal to celebrate the best of all worlds.

My dad would just rather have the buffet.   And some of that naan bread too.  But I’ll get to that in a little bit.

MasalaTea

The masala tea was a gem and reminds me of simple black tea that my dad and I would share on a regular basis.   I could’ve ordered any beverage, but this seemed only right.  So I’m grateful to honor him within honoring him.  That makes me feel good.

MasalaTea2

I sat in a different spot, yet I had a view of where we used to sit.  We’ve sat in a lot of places, but this spot felt comfortable.  I had a view of where his photos and a candle were positioned several months back.

While I was in a familiar place, I still felt removed and detached from everything. There’s safety in that.  Even by coming to a place we’ve been going to for years, I felt relieved being away from everything else.  Maybe that’s another part of the healing and grieving process.

MasalaTea4

But today there really wasn’t much sadness.  Just like the week and days leading up to Father’s Day, I got so much out of me to the point of being physically exhausted and drained.  And now I know what it feels to have nothing left.  I feel transparent as I write this.  But more importantly I feel relieved.

I’m relieved that my dad is in a happier place.  Where that place is I don’t know.  But I believe he’s at peace and harmony with everything.  It’s what we wish for our loved ones when it’s their time to go and when they’re gone.  As heartbreaking as it sounds, it’s also so beautiful.

This is life.  This is death.  It’s good to cry, but it’s also good to be happy.  Our true family, our dearest friends, and love ones want only want the best for us.  They would sacrifice their own joy just so you can feel some.  My dad did that for everyone while he was alive, and maybe he did it when he was saying goodbye.  That’s the most beautiful and selfless act of all.

While I was sad on the days and eve of his birthday, that sense of sadness has turned into calm.  Maybe it’s numbness or maybe it’s something else.  Maybe I’m just tired.  Yet maybe it’s just the universe telling me I’ve handled enough and now it’s time to take a break, until the next phase of grieving.

I don’t want to think that far ahead, because I don’t know what even tomorrow will bring.

What I do know is I’m proud of my dad, and I miss him.  I love him.  And while I know his spirit is with me, and will always be with me, I’m starting to see a light. I’m starting to see hope, and starting to see that the best life is still in front of me.  My dad would want this for me.  Our parents would want this for us.

MasalaTea5

So I raise my cup and say salud, I say cheers, and I say I love you dad.

And next time I’ll be sure to pocket all the leftover naan bread and sneak out like a little kid in your honor… Ha!

I love you dad and Happy Birthday…

Your son,

Ideen

We All Have A…

PurposeTea5

Until a few week ago, I had never heard of purple tea.

I hadn’t heard of the brand Purpose either.  There’s first times for everything.  I’m all for first times.  I hope this isn’t the last.  Here is where to buy.

PurposeTea

That brand name sounds so powerful, and so is this tea.  There’s a lot of heart, soul, and passion put into all of this.  From the label, to the logo, to the tea itself, and with a story (and impact…) that will inspire anybody.  I’m inspired.

PurposeTea2

When you have three different teas to choose from, then why not try all three?  There’s all kinds of firsts to quench your thirst.  Yes I just thought of that.  Funny I know…

The Purple Reign, Lemon Bliss, and Mint To be has beautifully similar ingredients, which are few and masterful.  The natural lemon flavor, and the mint extract are what makes the latter two teas so special.

Upon first sip this may not wow you, because it’s so healthy and so well intended for you.  After each drink I felt a connection.  I felt a connection to the tea, to the good nature behind it, and to good nature.  This is first class and while it’s different, it resonates to me from somewhere familiar, and somewhere divine.  Where that place is, I don’t know exactly, but it’s somewhere within me, and within all of us.

PurposeTea3

While I write this the weather isn’t my friend. It’s dark, it’s gloomy, and it’s maybe a place in time that’s supposed to be happening.

Thankfully, these pictures were taken while the days are still long (and they still are, for while), and the flowers and plants are still full of so much life.  While it’s still summer, the fall flowers are showing up on front porches, on stoops, and on a deck near you.

So I enjoy my teas in all their glory and surrounded by nature.  These tea leaves just, well, I don’t know.  I have nothing to compare it too, but why should I?  Maybe this tea needs no comparison.  Not yet at least.

I honestly forgot how much I paid per bottle.  But if it was $2 or $3, or even more, I’m not complaining.   Of course you want the best tasting tea for what you pay for.  But I wanted an experience.  I wanted to feel something.  And while I may say this consistently across various posts, that it might lose it’s luster, it’s perfectly fine to feel something as much as possible.

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions for me lately.  And maybe more for you.  I had all kinds of ideas, and things to write about this summer that may never see the light of day.  I had intentions of making more than one post a week.  That didn’t happen.  I had to take a break here and there to deal with many matters.   I know this has nothing to do with the tea, but in some ways it does…

PurposeTea4

I feel like I’ve had an issue of what my purpose is lately, and the writing is one of the many things that gave me purpose.  How apropos is that I find this tea, or this tea found me.  Maybe we found each other.

And I’m still here, we’re all this here, still breathing, and full of purpose.

Peace be with you.

Ideen

 

Best Friends!

FirstBird

I love making new friends, especially animal ones.  And especially when they just show up because maybe you need some company, or maybe they just want to hang out.

Or maybe…

Ah dot dot dot, or maybe they have ulterior motive and just want some snacks. Snacks are fun.  Who doesn’t enjoy empty calories on a sunshine day?

This brings us back to Pitango Bakery & Cafe, which you can read more about here, and how much calmness, stillness, and hope this place can inspire.

If I recall correctly, I had plans later on in the evening.  It wasn’t anything big or spectacular, which are my favorite kinds.  Because in kind those can and do become the big and spectacular.  But what I’m saying is, and what I think a lot of people can relate to, is that moment of peace and solitude before you join up with friends, family, and loved ones.  It’s those few minutes of time, that you cherish because you’re one with yourself, and everything around you.  Perhaps nothing at all, but just you and your thoughts.

JasmineIcedTea

The black jasmine iced tea was one of their fresh and cold beverages on hand.  It looked good on paper, and looked tremendous served. I adore the color.

Pastry

For this go around, I did get an almond and fruit pastry to go along with it.

JasmimeTea&Pastry

Neither had a chance, but for contrasting and endearing reasons.

JasmineTea&Pastry2

Sitting outside is one of those things that we do so much, yet maybe not enough of, and at least for me, I still don’t appreciate it enough.  I should not take this for granted.  I’m blessed to have eyes that can see the water ahead, and ears to hear nature (more on that shortly), and a nose to get all the smells, for better or worse, and a the functioning parts of my body to sit, and to just be.  What a gift that is.

Birds

And what a gift it is, to share this with some new animal pals.   I didn’t notice it right away, but my pastry was the draw.  Maybe in some alternate universe these charming birds were drawn to me.  In a way, it’s possible.  I hope they felt safe.  I hope they felt that this sweet treat was going to provide them with the happiest and harmonious nourishment, at least for that moment.

Birds2

With only one or two bites in, I had to wave the white flag here, and throw in the towel.  And that’s ok.   I wasn’t meant to much to have much of this.  And no, I did not eat any after the birds indulged.  That would be gross!

Yet, what was beautiful is this group of birds came together and shared this food with each other, like pals, like best friends, and like a family.

Birds3

It was beautiful thing to watch, and I got some great photos of this happening.  Hindsight being what it is, I wish I caught video.  Maybe I have it somewhere, and I’ll update this post again later.  Perhaps, the filming was not meant to be, and these photos are enough.

I hope wherever my new friends are, that they’re looking out for each other, sharing with one another, and protecting each other.  Because we can use more of that in this world.  I learn so much by watching groups of animals just be in sync with one another on so many levels.  It’s quite a spiritual and healing thing to see.

Birds4

The tea was great too, and no they weren’t interested in that one bit…

And not a knock on the tea, but when these birds arrived, I wasn’t interested in anything else but witnessing joy, happiness, rays of sunshine, and a moment in the summer and in time, that is one of those big things.

Peace Be With You…

Love,

Ideen

Mochi Ice Cream Party! Yay!

MochiIceGreenTea3

I’m glad I discovered this now.  But what took me so long to notice or even try Mochi ice cream.

To be late to the party is ok, I did show up.  I have friends that raved about this decadent dessert for a number of years (or so they told me), and it either never registered, or it just didn’t register.

It didn’t resonate.   And I’m all about trying new foods, new beverages, and new anything.  This is what life is all about.   A always joyful and welcome drive to Trader Joe’s (I may have written about them once or twice…) means sampling some new food and drink (the free sample area used to be called the Tasting Oasis, yay free samples!), and of course purchasing so many of their great items, usually brand exclusive to them.

Then there’s the Buono Group, which I had also never heard of until a few days ago.   I thought for sure they were exclusive to TJ’s (find one near you), but if you do a search (couldn’t find on their site), there in more stores than just the one.   It’ll always be at where I found it to me, along with this incredible aftertaste that’s still with me after a few hours later.

MochiIce

Strawberry and Matcha Green Tea were the flavors available and I was happy to grab both…

MochiIceInfo

All the info is presented to you in the pictures above, so there’s no need to me to go on an elaborate diatribe about the texture and depth of Mochi Ice.  I love so much about this.  What a great dessert idea, and in a world of unlimited ideas and creations, this is well done on so many levels.

MochiIceStrawberry2

Both are Gluten, Dairy, and Soy Free.  Vegan, no trans fats, and made with coconut milk.  If I ate both of these without knowing that, I wouldn’t notice the difference, aside from a lighter and healthier feeling, so maybe.

MochiIceStrawberry

But I loved these both so much.  The strawberry tastes exactly how you would want it to, and it’s lower on calories and all the bad stuff that there’s no guilt and only pleasure in eating this.  Not that you should ever feel bad about eating something that makes you feel good, as long as it’s done in a fashion that makes you feel good.

MochiIceGreenTea2

The matcha as always is an acquired taste.  There’s a sweeter element to this that takes that (to some) rough green tea taste and makes it all the more merrier.

Speaking of merrier, the packaging and pictures will charm anyone.  I find these images adorable.  Everything about this is fun, and it’s the big and little things that always make a an experience that much more memorable.  It separates the meals from the out of this world experiences.  This one leans towards the latter for me.   There’s a first time for everything and I’m grateful this was my first encounter with Mochi Ice Cream.

Of course while we’re in the summer, this is something for now.  Yet it’s something for any time.  This is it to be enjoyed, be entertained by, and appreciated.

It’s all in the same of good food, good times, and feeling good.

This was fun.

Peace Be With You.

Ideen

From The Heart to the Soul

Berried&GreenGarden

Literally next door, and I mean literally next door, from where I spoke on last week, is another charming and I’ll say it, adorable spot in West Annapolis, Rutabaga Craft Juicery.

Rutabaga

I had no intentions of writing about this wonderful place, (here is their menu, some eco information, more about them, and their contact info) and that’s not meant in a disparaging way.  I just came for some cold-pressed juice, a smoothie, and some peace.

There’s plenty of places I walk into that I’ll never write about because either it doesn’t fit the context of what I’m saying, I like the break, or I just don’t think about.  I’ve been doing this for a while now, that I don’t always think about what to discuss or not discuss, without a little research, preparation, but my favorite is always the spontaneous.

As would be with Rutabaga…

West Annapolis is its own entity, its own island, and own universe within such a tiny and beautiful universe of Annapolis (my past posts on this wonderful place are here), that the joy just continues to compound.

With such a cozy space, it’s a blessing I had an outside table to myself.  I came around lunch hour, and while people were in and out, it once again felt like I was the only person on Earth.  That’s a good feeling, and while it may feel egocentric or narcissistic, it feels like peace to me.  And there’s more of where that I came from, and more at our disposal then we know.

Berried&GreenGarden&Flower

I went with the Berried (a blend of apple ,strawberry, blueberry raspberry, and banana maple chia) and it went down smooth, went down easy, and went down a little too fast.  The weather warranted it.  Which also means I could’ve used a glass of water or two.  I did get around to that eventually.

But as I was leaving, I noticed they had kombucha on tap and available for sampling.  Since I already bought a drink, I feel like I had some immunity and didn’t feel as greedy or as cheap by trying all three samples.

One stood out above the rest.

GreenGarden

The Green Garden from Federal Brewing Company based out of Federalsburg, MD, was one of the more refreshing kombucha’s I’ve had.  It was the perfect contrast to my fruit drink, that I loved trading a sip of each back and forth, while cleansing my palate of course.   Even without a sip of water in between, I got all the beautiful tastes and flavors from each.

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I honestly forgot what was in the Green Garden, but maybe I wasn’t supposed to know or remember.  I just knew it was great, and I would love to have some more.

GreenGarden2

For the warmer climates, you can’t go wrong with either of these.  You can’t go wrong with supporting local business, and any chance to sit outside, be with nature, enjoy my surroundings, and enjoy not one, but two amazing beverages is something to be truly grateful for.

If you’re local to the area, and have not visited Rutabaga’s, I highly recommend it.  The staff is so friendly and accommodating. Many tourists will visit this summer, and because of its location it may be overlooked, but I wouldn’t.  It’s a gem among gems, among more gems.  While open for less than three years, it looks like it’s going to be a mainstay for years to come.  It’s another great reason to visit and love our state capital.

Have a good one, enjoy your day, and peace be with you.

Ideen

 

 

The Heart of Annapolis

BerryBerry1

There’s this calming feeling when you go back to a place for a second time, especially since it’s been nearly two years since the prior visit.  Bean Rush Cafe has the coziness of Annapolis tucked away in an even more quaint and peaceful part of town, if that’ even possible.

BeanRushCafe

My continuously growing history of a place I love so much can be found here.

Yes, there’s always happiness layered upon happiness if you know where to look, or maybe not look so hard.  It’ll just come to you.  I think I wrote about a similar experience here back in August of 2016. It sounds dream like when I say it like that.  It does feel like two years ago, but then again where did two years go?

BeanRushCafeSign

Two years and many visits to one of my favorite towns in between compelled me to come back to one of the more charming and welcoming coffee shops (here is more about them and their contact information) I’ve ever had the pleasure of coming to.

It’s July, it’s summer, and it’s one of those be careful what you wish for deals.  While it’s gotten uncomfortably hot for many, in many ways we’ll miss this when it gets colder.  I’ve never been one to complain about the heat.  I love this weather, and I stay hydrated, stay safe, and stay spiritually whole.   It’s easy to do.

BerryBerry2

Iced tea is the only thing on my agenda at this and will be for a while.   Per recommendations from one of the friendliest faces and voices behind the counter, I went with the Berry Berry Iced Tea and a Raspberry pastry.   Why pastry?  Why not?

They complemented each other well, and I’m all for a lovely display.  The colors and tones fit the summer.  So do so many, and many other themes will be coming in the next few weeks, if not sooner.

BerryBerry4

This tea is fun.  Where have I heard that before?  I found a spot on the porch, which felt familiar and divine, well yeah, I sat here two years ago.  It’s not that mysterious and surrealisitic, but it’s still fun to me over-the-top dramatic.

I love this place so much.  I felt like I was at a friend or family’s house, and even felt more comfortable than that.

BerryBerryIcedTea

People were saying hello to one another, holding doors, and there was lots of smiling.  This made me so happy.  Where am I?  I’m in the most peaceful and serene place I’ve been in some time.

BerryBerryPastry2

The flowers in the vicinity, the refreshing tea, and harmonious surroundings makes me feel nostalgic, relieved, and wanting more of this.  I love more of this and I love Annapolis so much.

I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t want to move, so I didn’t.  I sat there for a while and just breathed some fresh air, soaked up the most beautiful and brightest rays of sunshine, and just appreciated being.  This is where the phone and camera was turned off.

BerryBerryPastry3

For a few moments I was the only person on Earth, and that’s a feeling I sense will be coming back in symbolic and necessary doses, when the timing is right.  Certain spirits will throw in reminders when they feel it’s right.

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A place that has been so good to me for such a long time, is going to get a lot of love and support from me over the next few weeks, if not more.   There’s so much to celebrate, and while the wording and themes may be similar, the stories will all have a touch something new.   It’s all relative, it’s all constant, but it’s all love.

My heart will always be with Annapolis.

Peace be with you.

Ideen

 

The Fells Point

Pitango1

This whole living in the moment and being here now way of thinking, is a great way to live.  It’s a great way to be.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but a lot of my stories tend to be about that, but at the same token, they become a part of the past.  They become nostalgic, and then there’s the question, am I holding onto the past?   Lots of questions and thinking that can drive one crazy and cause anxiety.

It can also be a source of rebirth, rejuvenation, and a restart…

It’s summertime, which means being outside as much as possible, enjoying company, enjoying food and drink, and enjoying everything under the sun.  And then enjoying everything else under the sun…

Fells Point has been good to me for so many years.  In a little while I can say a couple of decades.  Oh my goodness, feels funny when you say it like that.

My life (and I’m sure many can say the same) has been transformed in the last year.  The amount of life changes in succession might be too much for one person to handle.  But there’s that silly line about how life only gives you so much.  It’s true, or many of us would’ve gone off the deep end.   And that’s still an arguable point.

Lately I’ve been finding more and more peace in the places that have brought happiness to me over the course of my life.   Sometimes unplanned, sometimes with a mission to be there, yet the stops in and along the way still being spontaneous.  Life an be good.  It can be great actually.

PitangoTea

Many year later, many things change, but there’s the constants.  I feel like I’ve said this before, and then said this before, and then…

Pitango Gelato (locations can be found here) has been one of those more recent staples of Fells Point that has the sense of local, sense of community, and a sense of pride.

They’ve expanded and evolved with the times, like many places have.

With their new cafe in an ideal spot by the water, it’s in tune with everything right about the neighborhood.

I’ll get back to the iced teas soon, but this is about peace no matter what you’re doing, and what you’re sipping on.   I had a friend join me, and I had a cup of their White Monkey, which was in their selection of loose teas.   Perfect for now, perfect for whenever is how I look at it.

PitangoWhiteMonkeySteep

I love white tea.  I don’t delve into it enough.  That’s going to change.

PitangoWhiteMonkey

Finding a place outside is ideal.  Having a view of the water and the downtown shoppes, restaurants, and local flavor warms my heart from end to end.  I love it so much.

I don’t have much else to say.   This is one of those posts where I feel like I’ve said so much of this before, and I don’t know where we go from here.  I tend to say that a lot as well.

What I do know this I’m fully on board with summer, and there’s so much left to celebrate and embrace.  With that I don’t bid adieu or anything like that.  I will say that I have some exciting things in mind in the coming weeks, without really having any idea what they are.  I shouldn’t live too far in the future.  It’s about this current moment in life, and all the other way too profound stuff, that I would like to cut out, but that’s not me.

Pitango1

If you’re in the neighborhood, I would highly recommend a visit.  I have friends that often come back to the Fells Point, specifically for their gelato, and now the cafe.

It’a journey worth taking..

Peace be with you…

Ideen